Toxic Positivity

Positivity has become extremely popular and mainstream over the past years. I never thought I would be the one to say this, but too much of anything is toxic, including too much positivty. Toxic positivity is defined as, "the over generalization of a happy or optimistic state that leads to denial, invalidation, or minimization of the authentic emotional human experience." When we try to be positive all of the time we are essentially choosing to betray ourselves and our true feelings. There is absolutely no such thing as always being happy. It's completely normal to go through a plethora of emotions through each and every day. Society has put into our heads that feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, fear etc. are anything but normal, when in reality they are normal and necessary to the human experience. We need to stop invalidating our true feelings. We need to stop telling ourselves things like, "it could be worse." Stop feeling guilty for how you feel and start leaning into how you feel. Ask yourself WHY you feel the way you do. Sit with those feelings. Allow them to come and allow them to pass.

By striving to remain positive all of the time, we are repressing emotions and denying what actually is. It is important to feel and go through your genuine feelings. Sometimes life is fucking HARD. We feel stuck, nervous, scared. People leave, we get our hearts broken, we stress about money, work, family etc. Life is not always great and life is never easy. Let's normalize life being hard. Life being hard does not mean life is bad. All it means is it is simply hard, because it is. Yes, some days are easier than others but lets not deny the facts.

Being vulnerable with ourselves and others is so important. It's okay to not be okay. Let's find an acceptance for unwanted emotions. They are there for a reason. Let's stop masking our true feelings with positive ones. An emotionally healthy human embraces both a positive mindset meanwhile being real with themselves and others about how they truly feel. Vulnerability is not easy, it takes work and it takes practice. But it's most definitely a skill worth mastering. Here's to finding a balance in 2021 and normalizing all spectrum of emotions.



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